Thanks to those who entered our July competition to win a copy of either Sporeville or Knights of the Sea! In a spontaneous fit of exuberance, the publisher has decided to give away two prizes rather than the original one, as an expression of its appreciation for the recent good weather and its all-around good eggedness. Let us have three cheers for Sybertooth Inc. Or, to be fair, two cheers, since that's the number of prizes. Hip, hip hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!
So, we come to the moment for which the great public has been agog with anticipation lo these many weeks. The trusty competition commissioner, a retired magistrate of sterling integrity, has placed the names of the entrants into the black cap that he reserves for special sentences and has drawn out two names.
"It is the decision of the court," said The Magistrate, "that the following persons shall be taken from this place to a place of execution, where they shall be... Wait, where am I?"
[Note: The Magistrate is wont to become confused if his tea is not delivered on time.].
"The contest, m'lud," he was reminded by the Clerk of the Competition. "The books."
"Oh. Yes. Rather. Ahem. Let me see. Ah, yes. Theresa Martin, of the Dominion of Canada, and Meg Kingston of Great Britain... Bailiff, instruct the doomed to rise to receive their sentences. That is, tell the winners to prepare to receive their prizes. Theresa Martin and Meg Kingston, you have been found guilty by a jury of your peers of listening to "The Resident Member" and correctly answering the difficult question of what card game Bronwyn had been pining to play. To whit, 'whist'. Well done. It is the judgement of this court that you shall receive the maximum sentence available under the rules of this competition, this being respectively, the novel Sporeville (in the case of the first of the condemned, er, that is, winners), and Knights of the Sea in the case of Ms Kingston. The sentence of this court shall apply without the option of a fine, to be carried out immediately, or as soon as the postal system can deliver the prizes. And may God have mercy on your souls. Now, where's my tea?"
After delivering The Magistrate's tea, the Clerk of the Competition begged to inform members of the public in the gallery that further copies of the aforesaid works are available in both paperback and e-book formats for reasonable prices at fine bookshops such as those listed at the following pages:
Sporeville | Knights of the Sea
The court now adjourns for light refreshments.